I was just over at Gully Grove where my friend Chris wrote that she is going to write about things that make her happy for this year. Here is the link to that post. Chris, you might just be my only blog reader anyhow but just in case others do read here, I want to say that this idea of blogging about what makes a person happy is brilliant!
As some of you (if you are really there) know, I was told to start journaling in an effort to rid myself of anxiety and depression. This-along with meditation and generally starting to feel physically better-was supposed to be my “treatment” plan for these pretty serious issues. So anyhow…..I started over here on a clean slate and found that I was not able to journal much at all. This after many many years of writing nearly every day, nearly obsessively. Go figure.
While I know that my reluctance is in part due to depression (which leads to much procrastination), I also think its because I do have some things to say that shouldn’t be said publicly. I mean, I am not going to talk about the people in my life who are adding to my problems because I do love them and respect their privacy. I have thought a lot about that. I just can’t do it to them. So blogging seemed out of the question as a form of journaling.
And so I have been non productive. But now, I can see a light bulb going off. What if a part of healing is not to rehash the awful stuff all the time? I am not proposing that things get swept under the rug here, but perhaps the problems don’t need to be pinpointed so precisely? Maybe. Just maybe. The point of life is not to be unhappy.
Maybe. Just. Maybe. Happiness is in my own hands.
I truly believe that. And infact the title of my blog is about that. Its what my grandmother had always wanted for me when she read those coffee grounds and found nothing but happiness there, even if she was just projecting her own hopes and dreams for me.
So I think its time to take matters into my own hands here and be happy. I don’t have to write the negative stuff in my “healing” journal. I can realistically write about things that are good in life instead. I am not so unhappy that my life is 24/7 awful after all.
So thanks very much Chris. Your wisdom has gotten me through many a rough patch you know? Heres to you!