A test of strength and endurance

I cannot really believe that I am as weak as I am. I know that I am not the same as I was last year at this time (I began having symptoms right about end of November). That really puts things into perspective for me. So wanting to be superwoman again, I tried a walking exercise video today. The one mile workout is for beginners and it used to be a piece of cake for me if I had not been active for awhile.
No longer. I got a quarter of a mile before my legs stopped liking me. I just could not go on.
However, that is a quarter of a mile I hadn’t walked in over a year so I’ll take it.

I know that I’m supposed to be writing about my feelings here on this blog but I don’t really feel like I have any to share. I am concerned that at the age of 48, my life is now that of an old ladies. Not a fit and happy old lady mind you but the kind of old lady that is a stereotype…you know, a shut in with a walker.

Juicing veggies is going good. I toss in a serving of fruit to get the bite out of some of the more bitter veg that I use such as turnips or beets and collards. Its all good but I am not used to the taste. Juicing concentrates the flavor in my opinion. Do I see results? No. And I don’t feel them. Its only been two days. I have one cup a day. I am not fasting. Maybe I need to.

Its snowing outside and the dental appointment I made months ago for today was cancelled. I was actually looking forward to this believe it or not. it seemed like something “normal” to me.

Jasmine is coming down here on Friday and then we get until just after New Years with her before she goes off to Germany for 5 months. I am not taking this as well as I would like to be. Most likely when the time comes I will feel a little better about it but right now, I do not.
We will drive her down to Chicago and see the boy. I cannot wait! We won’t spend much time down there thanks to having farm animals but at least I get to see him at long last. Its literally been 7 months. It didn’t feel like it.

I spent most of my post surgery recovery watching documentaries on Netflix. Eventually I watched every known food and health related ones- from farming to obesity. I think I’ve watched them all.

Tonight, I made my husband watch “Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead”. It was my second viewing and while the film isn’t a classic, it’s got a special something….it shows the truth. Real people. Real obesity. Real denial and depression.

The host, Joe Cross, travels across the U.S while on a juice fast for 60 days. He’s overweight and has a chronic autoimmune skin condition which requires steroids. His goal is to lose weight and get off of meds.
Along the way, he attempts to help people he meets, successfully in two cases. I think the film can be viewed on his website for free.

I needed my husband to learn about this because he’s all for making me healthy, yet every morning, I ask, ” Would you like a smoothie?”, and he always says, “No, I have coffee.”

Twice I made him have one anyway. He liked the first but hated the second.

I try to focus on green smoothies, sometimes using kale and other times using a spirulina powder along with frozen fruit.

Anyhow, watching this movie with him turned out to be the right thing to get him a little more interested in his own health.

The movie focuses on juice fasting and while I juice now and then I have turned to smoothies for a few reasons.
I abhor cleaning juicers. I need alot of fiber right now which juices lack. And it takes alot of vegetables and fruits to get enough juice. We don’t always have enough on hand.

I try to make around a quart of any given smoothie a day and keep it on hand refridgerated. This way, when I forget to eat lunch, I at least have this.

While I do need to take care of my health, the topic of alternative nutrition used to be my hobby. While on chemotherapy, I wasn’t allowed to eat superfoods so the hobby fell away and I forgot about it. I alo felt very dissillusioned that I had colon cancer despite taking pretty good care with my diet. I got over that. It’s nice to have the hobby back.

Yesterday, we went to dinner with friends ( fish fry of course). I am trying to build some sort of social life up here.

Today:
10 minute hobbe, walk, crawl.
Peanut butter, orange,banana flaxseed smoothie ( a whole orange)
Salad twice
Kale,aloe,spirulina, flax smoothie( we need to go get groceries!)
Some knitting
Chanting throughout the day.